Before we discuss todays Jack Ass, I need to address the JEB-sters 'suspending' his campaign this past weekend. Boy I sure will miss him and his daily ineptness and incompetence. You could set your watch to it. But I was thinking that his departure brings up an interesting philosophical question...
Is it possible to give away nothing?
Now I say this because he was on TV today discussing who he was going to endorse and give his support to. But here's the thing. He has no support, so how is he supposed to give it away? Is nothing something?? Can something be nothing??? I mean...you can give someone an empty box which is essentially a box of nothing. But you are still giving them a box. So just what is the JEB-ster up to now? What exactly is it that he plans to give away? What is going on in that weak narrow out-of-touch mind of his?
Well, don't worry...whatever his plan is...you can be sure he will provide us with some more laughs in the future...
But as for todays Jack Ass I can't believe that this story isn't getting more media coverage (well...I can...our media sucks). Apparently the genius scientists at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention are wrong yet again. This time it has to do with their analysis of the cancer causing toxins in the wood flooring that Lumber Liquidators makes. All anyone in the media talked about today is how the stock was down -20% . The reason why is because the flooring is way more toxic than originally thought. And the reason for this anomaly? Well...it seems that in their original calculations, the egghead scientists at the CDC used meters in a calculation when they supposed to have used feet.
Why doesn't this seem to bother anyone in the media? When these guys are misreporting on the Ebola Virus (remember last year when it was going to end our civilization?) or salt (have those French Fries killed you yet?) they were treated with a religious reverence. But now they fvck up something that's important, and right now there are probably parents all over this country having the children's bedroom floors being ripped out, but nobody in the media cares about this part of the story. It makes me ask the question...who in fact are bigger Jack Asses...the inept scientists at the CDC or the inept members of the media who can't see that this is a legitimate story?